remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
