wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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