Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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