I CAN MOONWALK!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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