I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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