i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
whose ass print is on the piano?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
