she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
How external is "for external use only"?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
