You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
