Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
