I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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