these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
