I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
