I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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