i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
