I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
