careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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