From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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