Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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