There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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