One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My nipple is on Facebook.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
