i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
