Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
