Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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