I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He shit in the fireplace
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
