i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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