He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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