I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
im holly from the hills drunk
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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