I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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