i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
