He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
