Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
