I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
