Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
