i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
