literally had 100 drinks last night.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Found the puke drawer
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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