Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
