New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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