RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My vagina is very pro this idea
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
