i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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