Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
