Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
