okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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