my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
