I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
