no, he came in my armpit
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
