I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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