but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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