Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
