I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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