idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
