Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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